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I had to trade my shoes for a donkey and trek for miles to reach this computer. I crossed deserts and had to battle mighty Spanish sand-badgers.
Ok, its a fair cop, it just cost me a few euros at an out-of-the-way bar, but still, its the thought that counts.
I am a tanned and intrepid voyager, oh yes'sir. Hope not too much interesting stuff has been happening at home without me. Pft, what am I saying? How could it *flicks hair* hehe :P
Miss you guys like crazy.
Oh and Miss Rachael, I have present for you yusyus. Because, and now lets face it, Im amazing.
Really do miss you guys though.
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T'has been mighty long time since I wrote in this thing. Mighty long time indeed. I forgot how shit the layout was at the moment. Theres too much to say that has happened in the last few months to type it all out in full, Also t'would probably bore the people on my friends list into eating their own heads. Amd I like my friends heads. (heads on their shoulders, not Down South, for the dirtier minded people reading this.)
Suffice to say I have learnt the following:
_Beware the man with pretty face. Chances are you'll end up wanting to rip said face off his person and force him to eat it.
_If anyone ever wishes to accompany me to the Krazyhouse on a satdee night be prepared to bring bats/knives/flamethrowers and please feel free to use them at the appropriate time.
_Computer geeks are people too. Often good people who make me pasta.
_My friends are dead good.
_No, really, they are.
_Looking like an ASBO kid has its advantages.
\o/ Hurrah for ASBO kid!
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Saturday, April 9th, 2005
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| Subject: | colours x |
| Time: | 4:05 pm. |
| Mood: |  anxious. | | Music: | Stereophonics - Lying In The Sun. |
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Its sunny outside and theres one of those crystal things in my window, so Im sat here covered in rainbows.
Last night was ace <3
And random as hell, which is always good.
((so tell me why i still cant stop looking over my shoulder? Searching the crowd for the wrong face))
Stumbling forward, holding onto whatever comes my way to steady myself. Slow down the thoughts. Stop the music. Trying to climb out of the colours.
But Im sat here covered in rainbows.
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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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| Time: | 2:30 pm. |
| Music: | White Stripes - Youre Pretty Good Looking. |
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Scissors and lipgloss_x
Snip here, cut there. Nip/Tuck. Re-apply your face in a new way and your ready to face the world again.
Ready to face the dancefloor.
Is it really that easy? Maybe it is when youre young.
Ill miss being young.
(tick//tock//tick//tock)
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Thursday, March 10th, 2005
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| Time: | 3:08 pm. |
| Mood: |  indescribable. |
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Feeling...
well Im not sure.
Empty? Numb? Hollow?
no, not quite.
It hurts because it doesnt hurt
And it should.
More importantly when that pesky reality hits ((why must it do that?)) I know it will hurt.
You can tell I havent grasped whats happened, because I want to call him.
Tell him whats happened and have him tell me it'll be ok.
Turn to him to stop the pain.
((something tells me he already knows whats happened though. heh))
I cant believe it was planned. Just tell me he didnt know. It wasnt waiting for me.
That would make him too cowardly. Make it too unfair.
/unfinished (unlike everything else)
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Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
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hmmm there is something wrong, I definatly wrote the last entry on my birthday.
Which was on the 25th.
computers confuse me.
Its a conspiracy!
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Saturday, February 26th, 2005
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I am adult hear me roar!!!!
its my birthday *^____^*
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Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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So another holiday.
But this one won't be a repeat performance of the christmas holidays, oh no sir.
I dont know ... I dont feel like myself at the moment.
I just feel off my game. Lacking in mojo, you might say.
Reading over old words, old sentiments. Have I lost the inspiration or just the ability to put things into words?
Everything went back to its little home in her life. Boxed up and put away. Slowly she could see the sky again, had room to breathe again, cautiously taking steps she found she had room to dance again.
I wish there was so much more to say.
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Saturday, February 5th, 2005
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thursdee night at the kray was aceness <3
Apart from the birthdee gal going AWOL along with two of our group hehe
But Miss Pip gave me food on the bus so that makes everything all right =D
And the mini-party was aceness <3
You know its a good night when youre having the most fun before you even get to the club!
woo go 18!
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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:23 pm. |
| Mood: |  content. |
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If chasing your dreams is just a distraction then consider me happily distracted <3
When he left I still wasn't bored. Wasn't secretly relieved I had time to myself for the evening.
When he left I actually stood on the corner in the cold ((with the obligitory cigarette)) and watched him walk down the street.
And before I dropped and stubbed out that cigarette I smiled so many times, to myself.
He really appeared out of nowhere and subtly changed everything.
The sky doesnt seem a little more blue
And to be honest I dont wake up with birds singing and angels laughing, holding puppies and kittens wearing tiny little bonnets...
But there is that feeling.
That nice little tingle you get when you know there's someone, somewhere who has thought of you today.
There is that feeling, and the distraction
And for now, I couldn't ask for anything more.
x
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Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
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New NIN background, woo go me.
And for now that is all.
Because sometimes the blank page is no place for therepy.
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Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:27 am. |
| Mood: | happy. |
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Psychology exam TO YA FACE!
Haha, the quesitons were on the two subjects I know best, oh Calloo callay oh frabjous day!
Well, Peter put that in your pipe and smoke it! How do you like them apples? Hmm? Hmmm?!
Amd now Im off to the bar with my man and my woman. (to be sung to the tune of Lardman)
"Cara...your life is an exciting adventure!"
I like me in good moods.
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Thursday, January 6th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:07 am. |
| Mood: |  indifferent. | | Music: | Wolfsheim - Heroin, She Said. |
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Coming back down to Earth.
But still, reality isnt sinking in. The past couple of weeks feel like a dream that I havent quite woken up from yet.
Drowning myself in whiskey and people. Only fear is of someone saving me.
Any fucker tries and Ill drag them under with me
Muahahahahahahahaha!
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Saturday, December 11th, 2004
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Im not normally geeky enough to quote this kind of stuff buuuut:
Smith: ‘Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why, why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom or truth, perhaps peace - could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself. Although, only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now! You can't win, it's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson, why, why do you persist?’
Neo: 'Because I choose to'
...and with that he stood up and said in a loud clear voice "To ya face!" and kicked Hugo Weavings mighty ass.
(why do you persist? Because I choose to)
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Sunday, November 28th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:14 pm. |
| Mood: |  crappy. |
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Im sick of giving the wrong impression.
More importantly I guess, Im sick of caring if people do get the wrong impression.
It doesnt matter what people think as long as you knw the truth about yourself, right? And it doesnt matter what people believe about you as long as you know whats going on, right?
Grrrr, then why does it never feel that way?!
Every time I try to assert myself I feel like Ive got it worng. I just feel wrong all over sometimes.
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Thursday, November 25th, 2004
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SARDU, MASTER OF THE SCREAMING VIRGINS!
Murder by Death
The Full Treatment (Stop Me Before I Kill)
Captain Clegg
The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires
Terror of the Tongs
heeheeheeheehee How do these guys come up with names like that for films, banging their heads against walls? oh god and theyre REAL films... I have to see them.
Especially Captain Clegg
Captain Clegg?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Friday, November 12th, 2004
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The world has a population of approx 6.1 billion.
There is an approx. annual increase of 85 million people.
With all these voices, all these thoughts and lives its strange to think that every second there is someone, somewhere who feels utterly alone.
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Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
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| Time: | 10:03 pm. |
| Mood: |  cranky. |
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I could write some really pretty metaphors for how Im so tired.
Sleep/Dream/Reality/Sleep/Work/Dream - lines grow thin.
Nah fuck that, Im too tired...
The thought of a day off, as The Mighty Salad Fingers would say:
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Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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xtoxicl0vex's journal